We should be called the Road Head Warriors
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
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