were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
apparently the secret to your success is patron
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Randomize
