yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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