i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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