I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
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