Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
