is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
