Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize
