hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Sacagawea was the original milf.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
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