The maid of honor just puked.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
