I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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