so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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