I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
He passed out mid-signature
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
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