Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize
