Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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