those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
