you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Randomize
