I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
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