they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
