I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
