Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
