why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
