I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
