I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
