Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize