ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
