know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
