oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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