i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
if only i could text you this smell
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I smell like Dick and happiness
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
