we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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