I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
