1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
