Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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