took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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