dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
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Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
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She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
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