So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
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What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
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