So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
