there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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