brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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