I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize