if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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