HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
