yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
You are a genius and a whore.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
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