I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
