What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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