see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
