i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
