my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I need to sanitize my soul.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
