Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
