So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
