fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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