Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
