Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
