mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
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