She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
4 words: hood of his car
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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