Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I'm getting married
To pizza
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
