there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
It's rum buckets o'clock
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
why is half of my head shaved?
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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