..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Where did you get a picture of my penis
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
