Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
