He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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