She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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