I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
stop calling my apartment porn island.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
