I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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