Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
