Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
Dude, I woke up at my ex's house. I am spooning her half naked roommate. There is a pizza on my shoulder. I need you to come pick me up.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
