it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
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