can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
