you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Randomize
