Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
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