It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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