So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
